


From My Chest, Take My Heart and Breath

by ISC



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Break Up, Heartbroken Magnus, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Makeup, Makeup Sex, Melodrama, Oral Sex, Sex, cheating alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 03:54:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8474374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ISC/pseuds/ISC
Summary: Magnus knew that it was never a question of ‘if’. It was always ‘when’. And when his sweet Alexander left him, he would take all of Magnus’ heart with him.Alec made a mistake, a massive mistake, and now he needs to fix it





	1. In Heartbreak, We Know Love

**Author's Note:**

> I have never read the series. Some characters will be OOC, with liberties taken in some instances. Forgive any misrepresentation.

~oo00oo~

The bed was cold, sheets wrapped snugly around Magnus’ legs as he pretended to sleep, he had twisted and contorted for hours, unable to find peace enough for Morphous to find him. Finally stilling, Magnus forced himself up, pausing long enough to run his fingers down Chairman's back, and headed for his balcony. Months had passed in a blur of new love, he and Alexander had wrapped around each other like ageless and ancient lovers. All of Magnus began to shine with Alec, he felt lighter than he had in centuries.

It had been foolish.

Alexander hadn't come. Magnus had watched with a broken acceptance as his darling Shadowhunter began pulling away. It started with shortened visits, soon the excuses began, and now? Broken promises and ‘forgotten’ dates. For all of his many years, Magnus always forgot how foolish he could be in love.

And he did ever so love Alexander. 

The young man fit perfectly into his magical life, filling his dark spaces and rolling depression with light and air. Alec was a gentle breeze after a summer storm, charged with energy and possibility. Magnus wanted to consume him, he wanted to be consumed by him. 

It seemed, however, that his greatest fear was coming into fruition. As a proper fool in love, Magnus had shouldered past the signs and warnings, so sure, so positive, so naive. 

For, even though Alexander Lightwood was Magnus’ greatest, and last, love, Magnus Bane was nothing more than a fleeting first love for the younger man.

And wasn't that a bitter pill?

Shaking himself, Magnus scrolled carefully through his phone until he found Alexander's number. He was going to let the other man break his heart. After which, it was time for him to relinquish his title as High Warlock of Brooklyn for a little while, and perhaps disappear.

If he decided to come back, he knew he wouldn't be the same. He had given so much of himself away over the years. And to Alexander, he had given everything he had left. The young Shadowhunter was his last chance, he felt it in his bones. 

Glancing at the time, 4:37 am, Magnus allowed himself a tired sigh before texting his dear Alexander.

**M-Darling, I find it prudent that we find time to see each other. Your anxiety has been palpable.**

**A-Ok. When?**

**M-Now works for me Love, I'll make coffee.**

**A-B there @ 5**

**M-Of course Pet.**

Setting his phone down, Magnus took a moment, and some magic, and let his glittery and glamorous armour to conceal and protect him in its familiar comforting shroud. He always felt safer wrapped in his flashy clothes, heavy makeup and excessive jewelry. Taking a moment to adjust his cuffs, he flashed a plastic smile to the world and set off to prepare coffee the mundane way.

He let the soothing rhythm of grinding coffee and preparing his overly extravagant machine distract him. His hands trembled with terror, his magic crackled under his skin like shockwaves. He briefly wondered if he would survive this heartbreak. Camille had nearly killed him, and his love for her was barely a blip in his past compared to how he ached for Alexander. 

15 after 5 am found Magnus seated elegantly on his couch, steaming mug of coffee hiding the tremor of his hands. Alexander was tardy, which wasn't that unusual as of late. Unlike other times, Magnus knew he'd come this morning, his bones creaked with the weight of the knowledge, as if preparing to be ripped apart.

He considered calling Alec for a moment before he smelt familiar soap just outside his apartment, ears practically twitching upon familiar footsteps, he let a spark of magic open the door before the younger man even reached the doormat. It was a trick that used to earn him a delightfully dorky grin, now it just earned him the same tired gaze that had become the norm as of late.

Wasn't that the absolute rub? Magic didn't enchant Alexander any longer. And Magnus was born of magic, _Magnus was magic_.

With a wave of his hand, Magnus made a cup of coffee settle across from him in an open invitation for Alexander to sit. The Shadowhunter sank gracefully into the plush chair, large hands wrapping around the mug with a petulant ‘thanks’. 

Seeing the younger man's reluctance, Magnus sighed a little and rolled his wrist to refill his own mug. 

“You will have to indulge me for a moment Alexander, it feels as if I haven't seen you in weeks. You look well.”

Alexander shrugged, his body stiff with nerves. He was obviously working up the nerve to tell Magnus about the handsome young Shadowhunter that had caught his fancy. 

“Mags.”

Feeling vindictive, Magnus took a moment to blow on his coffee, his pause forcing Alexander to look up at him, to meet his eye for the first time in over a month. Even in bed, hovering over the warlock as they made love, no, as they fucked, even then Alexander refused to meet his eyes.

“I have, thing is. What I want to. Angel, this is hard. I'm sorry.”

For all of his agony, his love for the younger man won out, and Magnus sighed. “Have you come to tell me about the handsome young Shadowhunter you've been seeing? “

Choking on his coffee, Alexander sputtered and gaped for a moment. “You know?” He sounded oddly stricken.

Smiling sadly, Magnus set his mug down and clasped his hands. “I may appear youthful, but I am centuries old Alexander. I know. I knew the moment you met him. I knew the moment you kissed him. I knew the moment you slept with him. I could smell him on you and taste him when you kissed me. Or. Rather. Allowed yourself to be kissed by me.”

“Magnus I... “

“I am not going to beg you to stay Alexander. I will not stand in your way, you may not love me, but I love you. I am in love with you. I want only your happiness.” Taking a moment to blink away the wetness in his eyes, Magnus peered down at his mug as he spoke again. “I ask only one thing of you.”

Alexander was crying, whether it was the knowledge that Magnus knew he'd cheated or a lingering of feelings for the warlock, the older man didn't know. ”What do you need?”

Magnus couldn't stop the few tears that slipped out, and judging by Alexander's gasp, the Shadowhunter saw. “You need to say it Alexander. I need you to say it.”

“Say what?”

“I need you to tell me you don't love me. To tell me you're breaking up with me. I need… I need you to be clear. I just… I just need that from you.”

Alexander set his mug down and stood to walk around the coffee table. The taller man sunk to his knees before the warlock, larger hands reaching up to wrap around Magnus’ smaller ones.

“I do love you Mags, I just… this is all so new to me. I didn't get 400 years to figure it all out. And Grey is… he's new, you know? And he is going through what I am. And with him… with you it’s different. I have a future with him, or someone like him, someone like me. Someone who isn’t...immortal.”

Closing his eyes, Magnus sat still as a few more tears slid down his cheeks. He knew Alexander could feel his magic crackling and vibrating under his skin. Taking a deep, shuddering breath Magnus pulled his hands free and rose up off the couch, tears gone. “Thank you Alexander. I have errands to attend to. You can see yourself out I trust?”

He could see the confusion and hurt on Alexander's face but he forced himself to turn away. Alexander had made himself perfectly clear. And Magnus needed to leave. Something under his skin spoke, whispering of forever. 

“Mags…” 

Magnus felt the younger man reaching for him, he forced his feet forward, away from the touch he craved so much. “I must ask for you to go, Darling, I have clients.”

“I… of course. Can we, what I mean to say is, can we still… be friends? You’re my best friend Magnus, I don’t want to be without you in my life.”

Magnus snapped his fingers, magicking his coffee into a tumbler of whiskey. “You have blondie, and the lovely Izzy, you have many friends Alexander. You have no need of me.”

Alexander rushed forward, large hands grasping Magnus by his shoulders and spinning the shorter man around. “I do need you Magnus! How could you ever think that I don’t? I love you Mags!” Alexander pushed forward, as if aiming for a kiss, and Magnus ripped himself away.

“Alexander, this isn’t very kind.”

Closing his eyes, Alexander ran his hands through his hair, hands shaking. “I know, I’m sorry. I just, I do love you Magnus. I do! I just… Grey is just. I don’t want you out of my life. “

Sighing, Magnus felt his body tremble, his magic causing him to shudder. “While I applaud your ability to finally ask for the things you want, I cannot watch you with him. I love you Alexander. Only you. Only ever you. Now it is my turn to be selfish. I need you to leave. I need… I need you to respect that. To respect me.”

Alexander wrung his hands, he was crying again, quietly and with actual bone deep sadness. Magnus wanted to grab him, and make him feel better, he wanted to kiss away the tears and make Alexander smile that wide grin the warlock adored. “I can’t ever see you again?”

“Maybe one day Alexander, but for now, I need you to go. You have your exciting new romance to embark on, properly this time. Do not waste your time here, with me.”

Setting his glass down, Magnus worked the silver band off of his middle finger, it was simple, marked with tribal bands that mimicked the ruins adorning the Shadowhunter lifestyle. With a heavy sigh, Magnus magicked the ring into Alexander’s hand. “You should have this back.”

“Mags no! I gave this to you! I… I made this for you.”

“You can hold it for me then. Goodbye Alexander.” Waving his hands, Magnus opened the door behind the younger man, and without his usual flair, he pushed his magic, and Alexander, through the doorway where he let it lock behind the Shadowhunter.

Magnus knew without turning that Ragnor would be seated where Alexander had been, his legs would be crossed, fingers steepled, just as Magnus always remembered him. Closing his eyes, the warlock tried to calm the electric shocks of his magic as he slowly turned toward the illusion of his friend. 

“I wish now, more than ever, that you were alive and well my dearest Cabbage. I think I need you.”

Ragnor’s memory didn’t speak, he just peered kindly up at the younger warlock, watching as Magnus’ skin began to flicker blue. 

If he had been in his right mind he would have noticed that his door, while locked, wasn’t soundproof, and that there had been no footfalls leading Alexander away from his apartment. If he had been in his right mind, he would hear the Shadowhunter as he pressed his ear against the door, listening.

Magnus downed his drink in one solid mouthful, he considered, briefly, throwing it against the wall. Perhaps the shattering of glass would help the rage of is magic. Dismissing the thought, Magnus set his glass down and began to pace, eyes flickering to Ragnor’s silent form. 

“Aren’t you going to speak? Tell me to go after him? Chase love? Or at least say something so I can rage at you for convincing me to embrace the person strong enough to break down the walls around my heart?”

Shuddering, Magnus paused, hands coming up to hide his face. “You told me once, that as an immortal I had allowed Camille to kill me with heartbreak. You were wrong, Ragnor! That was not death! That was a shudder of pain! This! This is death! I can feel it, under my skin, in my old bones. I can feel my magic as it tries to rip me apart in response to my heart.”

Gasping in great mouthfuls of breath, Magnus sank back down into the couch, body curling on itself, his hair and makeup began to flicker, his clothing was no longer the outfit of armour but instead his sleeping pants once again. 

“He was the one, Ragnor. My magic and my body knew that. He was the one I was searching for all this time. Centuries of partners and puppy love, and there he was. And he was mine!”

Scratching at his neck, Magnus tried to hold back the agony building in his chest. “I… I am lost, Ragnor. Without him, my other half, the one who binds me and my magic, I am lost. I wanted to give him eternity. I... “

The pain in his chest shattered like a dam, bursting forth in great heaving sobs. Magnus collapsed, unable to hold himself up, he slipped to the floor in a heap, body shaking, magic crackling over his skin like an exposed live wire. 

“What do I do?” His words came out between sobs, shaky and blistering with heartbreak.  
“Tell me what to do Ragnor! Please! I can’t. I can’t do this alone! I can’t. I don’t want to be alone again.”

Magnus let himself be consumed with his pain, sobs wracking his body, he didn’t notice as his magic began ransacking his apartment, all of his things grew still, as if immobilized, locked in a moment in time. He could dimly feel his magic stretching out to find a replacement for High Warlock of Brooklyn. Like a candle, Magnus began to flicker. His body a shadow, coming in and out of the light. 

He didn’t notice Alexander stifling his own tears on the other side of the door, having witnessed Magnus’ breakdown. He didn’t notice when the Shadowhunter finally got up and walked away. His tears came to a slow stop, and all Magnus felt was exhausted. 

It was time to rest. 

With a shake, Magnus pulled himself to his feet and shuffled toward his bedroom, stripping off his sleep clothes and tossing them in the laundry hamper as he went. His magic cleaned him, gone were his tear tracks and the raw, bloody scratches on his neck. With a calm look around, Magnus turned toward his vanity and let his magic decorate his face in familiar eyeliner and shadow. 

It was time to rest.

Waiting until his makeup dried, Magnus turned toward his closet, where he used his magic to dig out a box nearly as old as Brooklyn itself. After Camille, Magnus had been so wrapped up in his heartbreak that he thought he would need this. He thought his magic had recognized her as his complete. He had prepared for days, having this suit specially ordered, shoes to match. For days he waited for his magic to turn, but it never came. Now he knew why. 

This was the agony he never felt with Camille, this was his magic, recognizing the loss of his complete, sending him into a frenzy of hurried heartache. He had only a few minutes to dress himself in his finery, his favorite rings and necklaces, his beloved earrings and pocketwatch. His perfectly tailored suit draped over his body like a second skin. 

It was time to rest. 

Peering at himself in his full length mirror, Magnus straightened his vest, fingers brushing over his watch, lingering for a moment over the delicate gold chain. Magnus knew that once he laid down, his magic would settle his apartment in a timelock, and that he would be encased in the same timelock. He knew that once he closed his eyes, succumbing to his grief and the grief of his magic, that the new High Warlock would come. And when they came, Magnus, like many before him, would be taken to the Tomb of Souls, where he and his magic would rest.

With a deep sigh, Magnus scribed a brief fire message imploring Raphael to take care of is beloved Chairman. Closing his eyes, Magnus took a deep breath before picking up Chairman. He ran his hands lovingly down the felines back, fingers blessedly absent of magic for the moment. Pressing a sentimental kiss to the cat's head, right between the ears, Magnus set him outside of his bedroom and shut the door against the anxious meowing. With one last look around, Magnus let his eyes linger on the fading image of the silent Ragnor. 

“My darling Cabbage. How I love you.” Ragnor smiled, silently mouthing the sentiment back. Reaching out, as if to touch his dear friend, Magnus smiled sadly. “It’s time to go to sleep.”

Ragnor nodded, giving his oldest friend one more smile before his image winked out of existence. He could feel his magic pouring back into his body, it was seeping out of the walls and decor of his home, years of trinkets lost their luster as they locked in time, his beloved art lost their shine. With one last final sigh, Magnus climbed gracefully onto his bed, hands smoothing out the bedding as he made himself comfortable on his back. He pretended not to notice the tear that trailed down his cheek. 

It was time to rest.

~oo00oo~

Alec felt like scum, broken scum. He wasn’t proud of himself for listening at the door after Magnus had kicked him out. He wasn’t proud of how he had tried to force Magnus to stay in his life. He wasn’t proud of a lot of things he had done recently. 

He hadn’t expected Magnus to react the way he had, so upset, so sad. It seemed silly of him now, but he hadn’t known the depth of Magnus’ love for him. With Magnus, it had all been so new, a whirlwind of excitement and pleasure and newnewnew. Alec had let himself be swept away, willingly, in the grandiose way Magnus lived his life. His big home, his extravagant lifestyle, the over the top, but you must take them!, gifts. 

For months Magnus had taught him about love, about pleasure, about decadence. Alec, admittedly, loved every second of it. He had jumped head and heart first into Magnus, embracing everything the warlock had given him. He had been so caught up that when he met Greyson the sudden attraction had blindsided him. 

Magnus was grand statements and elegant dates and gentle, relaxing nights on the couch and passionate, exciting romps in bed. Magnus liked to take Alec out, to the park, to Time Square during the ridiculous Tree Lighting Ceremony. He had taken Alec ice skating, and sledding, taken him to restaurants, elegant and cheesy. Magnus had shown Alec how to have fun by taking Alec out of his element as much as possible. 

Greyson, however, was like Alec, quiet, introverted, almost aggressive. Grey and he didn’t go on dates, they kept their passions in the bedroom. With Grey, Alec never felt out of his element, he always felt in control of his decisions. With Magnus, he was always mildly blindsided, dates and adventures and excitement that sometimes Alec just didn’t need. 

Sighing, Alec wiped the tears off his face, letting his hand drag down over his stubble. He felt like the worst person on the planet. He couldn’t believe he, of all people, cheated on Magnus. He felt oily, dirty in a way he didn’t have words for. He hadn’t intended to cheat, he had meant to tell Magnus before anything happened with Grey. But he had gotten caught up, sucked into the magnetic draw of new and exciting. 

Hearing Magnus’ broken one sided conversation with his dead friend left Alec shaken. Magnus wasn’t just his first love, his first romance, his first everything. He was also his best, and closest friend. While Jace was swept up in Clary, and Izzy with Meliorn, all of them caught in the drama of the Institute and Idris, among all of this, Magnus had remained steady. Alec could rely on Magnus to be there anytime Alec needed him, night or day. 

With a shaky breath, Alec turned and walked away from Magnus’ door. He tried to push Magnus’ words away, the heartbroken plea of not wanting to be alone. Shaking his head, Alec took off at a light jog, needing to be back at the institute, needing to see Jace, and maybe Grey. He kept his mind blank, forcefully, as he ran, dodging between mundanes and around buildings. 

He reached the institute with little fanfare, breath barely shaky as he slowed down to seek out his parabatai. He found Jace training, hands flying as he practiced with the dummy. Coming to a stop, Alec stood and watched the blonde as he practiced. He let his mind slip back to Magnus as he watched Jace, thinking about how he had left the warlock so broken. 

“Alec?”

Glancing up, Alec shook himself as Jace bounced toward him. “Whats up?”

Smiling a little, Alec tilted his head back, signaling for Jace to walk with him. The blonde pulled a sweater on as he kept pace with Alec in the hallway. “I saw Magnus.”

Smiling, Jace wagged his eyebrows at Alec. “Yeah? How’s the warlock?”

The term was said affectionately. Jace and Magnus had grown fond of each other over the past few months, bickering and fighting had kept them entertained enough to form a strange friendship. 

“We… I, ah, I broke up with him.”

“What?!” Grabbing Alec’s shoulder, Jace spun his parabatai toward him, other hand coming up to grasp his other shoulder. “Why? What did he do?”

Closing his eyes against the tears, Alec nudged his brother toward his room for privacy. They took a seat on the bed, Jace’s eyes never leaving Alec’s face. “Alec?”

“He didn’t do anything Jace. Magnus is, he’s perfect. I, uh, I.” Pausing, Alec took a deep breath, the lingering shame churning like a rabid dog in his stomach. “I cheated on him. I’ve been cheating on him.”

Jace was quiet, eyes roaming over Alec’s face. “You cheated?” The words were said with startled disbelief. 

A few tears slipped out, sliding down his cheeks as he took a shaky breath. “I, Greyson, me and Greyson.”

“How long?”

“A few weeks? I don’t know!” Jumping up, Alec began to pace, hands fisting at his sides. “It just happened! We met, we sparred, and I just. He’s just… New.”

Jace exhaled heavily. The disbelief on his face making Alec cry harder. “And Magnus?”

“I went to tell him! I never meant to hurt him Jace, I love him! I do! I should have told him first, before anything happened with Grey, but I was scared.”

“How was… How did he take it?”

“He already knew.”

Blinking, Jace reached out, grabbing Alec’s wrist to make the older man stop pacing. “What do you mean ‘he already knew’?”

Looking down at the blonde, Alec sighed. “I tried to tell him, but I just… couldn’t get the words out. And Magnus, he just. He asked me if I was there to finally tell him about ‘The Young Shadowhunter’ I was seeing.”

Furrowing his brow, Jace tugged Alec to sit back down beside him on the bed. “And?”

“And then he told me he knew from the moment I met him. That he could, smell, him on me. That he could taste him on me.”

“Was he. What did he do?”

“He told me he loved me. That he was in love with me and that meant he just wanted me to be happy. Then he asked me to tell him I didn’t love him. To break up with him. Said he needed to hear me say it.”

“Did you?”

Alec looked up questioningly. 

“Did you tell him you didn’t love him? Did you break up with him?”

“I told him… I couldn’t… I, dammit!” Jumping back to his feet Alec flung his arm out and let his hand whip across his dresser, knocking everything on top to the floor. “I told him I loved him and that I still wanted him in my life! I told him he was my best friend and I didn’t want to be without him! By The Angel Jace! You should have seen his face!”

Jace stood up, grabbing Alec’s hands to stop him from grabbing at his hair. 

“He kicked me out and I wanted to walk away, but I couldn’t. I just… I heard him say… He was all alone, talking to Ragnor like he was still alive and I couldn’t leave. He cried Jace! And he said, he said…” Breaking down, Alec began to sob, falling forward into Jace. His parabatai held him steady as he cried, hands settling on his back. 

“He said what?”

“He said I was the one. That he wanted to give me eternity. And that… He said he didn’t want to be alone again. Am I a terrible person Jace? I know I was wrong to cheat, but am I… am I cruel?”

“Oh Alec, no.” Rubbing his back, Jace tried to soothe the taller Shadowhunter. “You got caught up, you’re 21, you’re allowed to get caught up. It’s not cruel to fall out of love.”

Ripping himself away, Alec pushed at Jace. “That’s just it! I didn’t fall out of love! I love Magnus! I just… I don’t know why I cheated. I just wanted Grey and…”

“You just wanted them both?”

“Yes.” Alec hated how weak his voice sounded. 

“Alec…”

“I know. I know! I can’t have them both. It’s not fair to even think I could. But I love Magnus. And I like Grey. Magnus he just… With Grey it’s familiar. He’s one of us. He gets it, he gets me.”

Jace just nodded. “I get it man. I’m with you. If it’s what you want, I’m with you.”

Blinking slowly, Alec peered at Jace. “Did I screw up?”

Clasping his hand on Alec’s shoulder, Jace grinned. “Well man, you’ll find that out. And hey, if you screwed up, the warlock is just a subway ride away, right?”

Shaking his head, Alec attempted a weak smile. “Yeah.”

“C’mon man. Let’s go spar.”

They sparred for a few hours, Jace put Alec on the floor repeatedly, not commenting on Alec’s lack of focus. Every time Alec hit the floor, Jace pulled him back to his feet, got him in position and did it again. 

After his 24th drop, Alec waved his hand in surrender, smiling as Jace bounced like a puppy. “Food?”

“Yeah.” Alec knocked their shoulders together as he pulled on his shirt. They headed out toward the common area, chatting quietly as Izzy and Clary ran up on them. 

“Guys! We got demons!”

~oo00oo~

“Jace! On your left!” Clary’s screech had Alec whipping around where he saw the Ravener Demon pierce Jace’s side and thigh. 

Racing toward him, Alec slung his bow over his back and used his serif blade to slice through the demon’s neck. “Jace!”

Dropping down, Alec shoved Jace’s shirt up to trace over his healing ruin, knowing it was only a ploy to buy time. “We need to get him healed! Where is the closest safehouse?”

Izzy came to a stop by Alec, staring down at Jace with worry. “We don’t have time to get him far, that thing got him twice.”

Clary dropped down to pull Jace’s head into her lap. “Magnus is just a block over.”

Blinking up at her, Alec was about to protest when Jace groaned in agony. “You’re right. Let’s move before more show up.”

Standing, Alec lifted Jace up over his shoulder. And motioned for the others to follow. It had only been a few weeks since he and Magnus had split up. The warlock hadn’t responded to any of Alec’s texts, which was fair, and Alec had gotten himself caught up in demons and Grey. 

The group of Shadowhunters with them huddled around Alec and Jace for a moment, Grey stepping forward to look at Jace’s wound. The man was almost as tall as Alec, more broad shouldered with short cropped ginger hair. He peered at Alec with cold blue eyes before glancing around to look for demons. “We will head back and report. Where are you taking him?”

Alec tightened his hold when Jace started to slip. “Magnus Bane is close, we’re taking him there.”

Lip curling in a nasty snarl, Grey stepped back. “The warlock?” The other Shadowhunter spat the word out with more contempt than Alec had ever heard before, even from Maryse. 

“Is that a problem?” Izzy stepped in to glare at the taller man, she never liked Grey, coming to despise him after she found out about him and Alec. 

“Downworlders can’t be trusted. Particularly warlocks.” 

Alec flinched, startled at Grey’s blatant disgust. He and Grey had never discussed Downworlders, he didn’t know the other man held them in such discontent. It was like a lightswitch flipping, how suddenly Alec saw Grey differently. It was like he had peeled back his skin and underneath was an entirely different, hideous person. 

Pulling himself to his full height, with Jace in his arms, Alec sneered. “Magnus Bane can be trusted. As can Downworlders. You are dismissed.” Turning away, Alec led his sister and Clary away, ignoring the way they both practically glowed with pride toward Alec. 

They made it to Magnus’ building in little time, going around back to slip upstairs to the warlock’s loft. Izzy sidled up to Alec, painted lips turned down in sympathy. “Are you going to be alright Alec? Coming here? Have you even seen Magnus since…you know?”

Sparing his sister a glance, Alec attempted a reassuring smile. “No, we haven’t. I mean. I’ve texted him. Tried calling a few times. He never. He didn’t call back.”

Izzy nodded, reaching out to pat his arm before slipping around him to knock on Magnus’ door. “Magnus? We need your help.”

After a few moments of silence, Izzy spared Alec a puzzled look, she turned back and turned the knob, murmuring when she met no resistance. “That’s weird, does he always leave this unlocked?” 

“He might be busy, he probably knew we were coming. You know how he is.”

Izzy smiled, nodding, before stepping inside, Alec and Clary at her heels. They all came to a harsh stop at the smell of the place. It was stale, like a basement, and cold. Reaching around Jace, Alec flipped the lightswitch and froze, a gasp on his lips. “What…?”

Izzy stepped forward, it was like walking into a closed museum. The air was stale and cold, dust caught, suspended in the few rays of sunlight streaming through the cracks in the curtains. Everything was dull, lifeless, and frozen, even the hands on Magnus’ many clocks were frozen, stilted in time. 

Setting Jace down on the couch, Alec turned to Clary and got her attention. “Magnus keeps a spare Ravnor cure in his emergency aide kit, it’s in the hallway closet, black box with the snake.”

She nodded, red curls bouncing, before running off to search. Alec adjusted Jace’s arms, taking a moment to smooth over his parabatai’s hair before turning as Clary came running back in. Together they poured the potion into Jace’s mouth, Alec rubbing his throat to force him to swallow. It only took a few moments before Jace stopped squirming, the color returning to his cheeks, breathing evening out. 

Content with his recovery, Alec stood to look around. Everything was how he last saw it, down to the half-full coffee cup that Alec had set down on the table the last time he was here. “Magnus!”

His call echoed throughout the apartment, reverberating off the walls. “Magnus!” 

Izzy had wandered off, trying to locate with warlock. “Alec!”

Sparing a glance for Jace and Clary, Alec followed the sound of his sister’s voice into the bedroom, pausing at the frozen state of the room. He noticed the phone before he noticed his sister. He would recognize that glittery case a mile away. He stepped forward as if in a trance, eyes locked on the phone. Izzy was standing by the vanity, eyes on a fire message that had been left. 

“Alec, you need to see this.”

Picking up the phone, Alec turned toward his sister, eyebrows drawn together. “What?”

“Look.” She pointed and Alec followed her finger, eyes locking on the written message. 

_‘Magnus-I will take Chariman, though I wish you would tell me why. I heard the whispers. Why have you given up your position of High Warlock old friend? I am worried for you. I suppose we will speak when I come to get your beloved feline.  
Yours-Raphael’_

“What does he mean, ‘gave up his position of High Warlock’? Is Magnus not High Warlock any longer?”

Alec shook his head, fingers tight on the phone in his hand. “He wouldn’t. He loves his people.”

“We need to contact Catarina Loss. I’ll fire message her.”

Alec nodded, eyes never leaving the missive from the vampire. Tearing his eyes away, Alec powered up Magnus’ phone, panic creeping in as it began buzzing with missed texts and voicemails. The phone had been off for weeks. Why?

“She’s on her way.”

“What?” Jerking his head up, Alec watched his sister saunter back into the room without her usual flair. 

“Catarina, she’s on her way. Her message said it would be easier to explain in person.” Izzy was cut off by the faint sound of a portal, and the clack of high heels. Glancing at each other, Izzy and Alec left the bedroom to find Catarina in the living room with an awake Jace and a confused Clary. 

“Catarina, glad you could spare time for us.” Izzy stepped forward, smiling as the warlock turned toward them. 

“Ms. Lightwood, a pleasure.” She nodded politely at Alec, a smile, sad smile playing on her lips. She waved an elegant hand, signaling for them all to have a seat, she sat herself on the edge of a cushion, as if afraid to disturb the eerily still apartment. “You’re here for Magnus. Which means you aren’t in the know.”

Raising his eyebrows, the panic in his chest got tight suddenly, worry grasping him. “In the know about what?”

Smiling a thin lipped smile, Catarina lowered her eyes for a moment. “In the absence of Magnus Bane I am Acting High Warlock of Brooklyn for the foreseeable future.”

Alec swallowed a lump in his throat. “What do you mean ‘absence of Magnus Bane’? Where’s Magnus?”

“Magnus is in the Tomb of Souls.”

Jace grunted, sitting up slowly. “What’s that?”

Sparing the blonde a glance, Catarina lost all pretence of a smile. “The Tomb of Souls is a place of rest for warlocks in turmoil.” Her eyes flicked to Alec for a moment before dropping to her hands. 

Alec was speechless, a white noise in his ears. “Magnus is in turmoil? Resting? What’s that even mean?”

Catarina finally locked eyes with him, her hands clasped in front of her. “After you and he split, Magnus’ magic took control, placing him in a timelock. It happens to warlocks when we…” She paused, looking away.

“When what?”

“It happens when we are rejected by the one our magic recognizes as our complete.”

“Comple… What does that even mean?” Alec knew he was shouting, the panic in his chest was clawing up his throat. 

Catarina cleared her throat, refusing to meet Alec’s eyes again. “Warlocks get one great love in life, Alec, just one. Some of us never meet them, and we are content with substandard partners. Some of us find them, and our magic recognizes them as the complete of everything they are. When we find them…” 

Her voice became wistful, almost dreamy as a smile curled at her lips. “When we find them, and they feel for us what we feel for them it’s… magical. They are everything. They ground us, they bind our magic, and in turn our magic binds them. They are given immortality, their lives tied to ours. It’s a bond similar to your Shadowhunter Parabatai bond. Similar, but different. Your parabatai bond is like a brotherhood, yes?”

At their nods she continued. “Our bond, our complete is like… becoming one. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have your soul touch someone else’s? What it would be like to feel someone else’s happiness? Their joy? Their love in sync with your own? When we are accepted, our lives are full, blissful.” 

She sighed. “However. When our complete rejects us it is the single most devastating thing that can happen to a warlock. Rejection by your own soul. To keep our magic from tearing us apart, we go into a sort of stasis. A freeze of our bodies, our magic and our souls. It allows us time to repair ourselves from the break.”

Clary cleared her throat, tears in her eyes. “Break?”

“When we are rejected, our magic breaks. Literally shatters. All of the magic that had begun to reach out for our complete snaps back, slamming back into our core. It can kill us if we don’t let ourselves go into a slumber.”

Alec dropped his head, hands coming up to cover his face, both Izzy and Clary had little heartbroken looks on their faces. Jace had a hand over his mouth, eyes locked on his parabatai. 

Alec rubbed his eyes. “When will he wake up? Will he be… will he be Magnus when he wakes up?”

Catarina sighed again, her shoulders slumping. “He will be mostly the same as you knew him. Those who I’ve seen after their slumber are barely distinguishable from who they were before. Their change is inside, their hearts and magic.”

“When, Catarina, when will Magnus wake up?”

Looking at Alec, Catarina smiled sadly at him. “I don’t know. There are only three outcomes for those in slumber. Either they come out of it on their own, different but alright. Or they are brought out by their complete.”

“You said three. What’s the other way?”

“Or they don’t wake up. Their magic is too unstable, their heartbreak too complete and the return of their bind shuts them down. In this outcome the only result is death.”

Gasping, Alec clenched his fists. “Death? Magnus could die? What can we do? How do I… How can we wake him up?”

“You can’t just wake him up Alexander!” Jumping up, the warlock stormed forward. “You did this Alexander Lightwood! You! Your selfish, childish, petulant relationship with that pathetic little Shadowhunter did this! Don’t go feeling guilty now!”

Alec jumped to his feet, blood boiling. “I made a mistake! A mistake! The biggest one of my life! Now tell me how to fix it!”

Catarina reared back, eyes narrowing. “Don’t do this to him Lightwood. Don’t think you can run in and play hero just because you feel guilty for sleeping with someone else. You can’t wake him up from guilt or confusion. The only thing his magic will recognize is love, complete love. Not lingering love, or guilt or whatever you’ve confused with love. But actual soul changing, life completing, wholly accepting love. Can you honestly say you feel that way Alexander? Or are you just feeling the full impact of your guilt?”

“I…” Stepping back, Alec seemed to shrink under the lady warlock’s rage. “I don’t know.”

“Well you need to think on it Alexander Lightwood, because I won’t let you hurt him again.” Pulling herself up, Catarina created a portal and stepped toward it. “You know how to reach me if you need me. Do not contact me otherwise.”

They watched her disappear, silent for a moment in her absence. Jace climbed to his feet, stepping toward Alec the blonde set a hand on his brother’s shoulder, wincing at how tense he was. “Alec.”

Stepping out of Jace’s grasp, Alec rubbed his forehead, trying to will his headache away. “We need to get back to the institute.”

Ignoring the calls of his name, Alec stormed out of the apartment without a glance back, barely thinking to slip Magnus’ cell phone into his pocket as he did. 

~oo00oo~

Alec cussed as he came back from training, his side hurt enough to suggest he’d broken a rib or two. Jace was furious with him and had taken it out on him in training. As understanding as the blonde was, he couldn’t grasp why Alec was refusing to talk about Magnus or the Tomb of Souls or any of this situation. Izzy and Clary were barely speaking with him either, both hurt from how much he’d snapped at them and everyone else the past few days. 

After they had gotten back from Magnus’ Alec had shut everyone out, storming off to find Grey while his frustration kept him strong enough. He’d barely given the redhead a moment to breathe before telling the Shadowhunter they were through. Grey hardly seemed upset with the fact. The older man had simply shrugged and walked away. 

It was that dismissal that sent Alec spiraling. He had given up his first love to explore his sexuality with Grey, and now he couldn’t understand why he had ever thought that was a good idea. Grey had been fun, but emotionless. Which, upon reflection, made the entire endeavor seem silly and childish, just what Catarina accused him of. 

Shaking his head, Alec traced his stele over his healing ruin, sighing when the pain in his side faded. Sinking down onto his bed, Alec dropped back with a tired groan, without thinking his hand sought out the glittery cell phone he kept tucked under his pillow. Powering on Magnus’ phone, Alec felt tears well in his eyes at the wallpaper on the phone. A smiling Alec and Magnus stared back, faces smashed together, eyes bright. They both had ridiculous carnival hats on, Alec had cotton candy in his hand, Magnus was holding the biggest slushie either of them had ever seen. 

Thumbing through the screens, Alec brought up the photo album and let himself get lost in the memories again. Every picture was of Alec. Alec and Izzy, Alec and Jace, Alec and Max, even Alec and Clary. Among them there were dozens of candid shots of Alec taken in secret. Eating, drinking tea, cleaning his weapons, training, laughing, watching television. And among those were the selfies they had taken together. Nearly a hundred of them together. Happy.

Alec rolled onto his side, body curling around the phone. He paused on one picture, the same picture he always stopped on. It was from a few months ago, right after the mundane Christmas holiday. He and Magnus had gone ice skating, and after a long day they had stumbled back to Magnus’ place, laughing and happy. In the picture they were curled up together on the couch, blanket draped around their waists, bare chests and cheeks pressed together as they smiled happily up at the camera. Magnus had magicked his makeup off, and for once he was barefaced and fresh, barely looking older than Alec. 

Wrapping both hands around the phone, Alec pressed his forehead against the screen, he missed Magnus like a drowning man misses air. Pulling in a shuddering breath, Alec finally allowed himself to think of Magnus, locked away in a restless slumber. He loved him. Alec sat up, the realization slamming into him. He loved him. Alexander Lightwood loved Magnus Bane. Jumping to his feet, Alec peered down at the phone in his hand, the memory of that day sparked something in his chest. 

**“I’m in love with Magnus Bane.”** Alec smiled down at the picture on the warlock’s phone. With a new resolution, Alec set out to find Jace and Izzy. He needed to get his warlock back. 

~oo00oo~


	2. A Wicked Grin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus knew that it was never a question of ‘if’. It was always ‘when’. And when his sweet Alexander left him, he would take all of Magnus’ heart with him.
> 
> Alec made a mistake, a massive mistake, and now he needs to fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to fight very hard to not reply to all of the fantastic review I revieved, I didn't think I would be able to not give something juicy about the plot away. Some of you are very close to figuring it out. Thank you all so much. 
> 
>  
> 
> **Trigger Warning!! >  
> **  
> This chapter has mention of Non-Con, it is not graphic, but there is a triggering experience. Please read with caution.

_**~oo0 Before 0oo~**_

Alec smiled nervously, hands fidgeting, pressing against his hips as he tried to surreptitiously wipe the sweat from his palms. This was he and Magnus’ first, real, date. They’d gone out for drinks once or twice after his failed wedding, and even had cocktails in Magnus’ apartment a few times. However they haven’t yet gone on an actual date, and they haven’t gone any further than a few chaste kisses at the end of their night. 

Tonight, however, was their first actual date. Magnus had asked Alec to dinner, claimed that it was his turn to show Alec a good time since he had let the taller man take the lead at the beginning of their ‘relationship’. Alec was nervous, and excited, as he made his way to the restaurant. Magnus had texted him the address this morning along with general clothing recommendations. 

Drawing in a deep breath, Alec stopped and peered up at the restaurante, relief filling him. Magnus had instructed him to dress nice but casual, and suggested a long sleeved button down and slacks instead of jeans. The suggestions had Alec wrecked all day with nerves, he was so sure Magnus was taking him to a ridiculously fancy Mundane restaurant where he would be expected to use multiple forks and deal with actual candles. He was pleasantly surprised when he came to a stop outside of a nice, but not fancy, steak house. 

Wiping his hands against his pants pockets again, Alec forced himself to relax and started peering around for Magnus. He spotted the warlock a few yards away, leaning casually against the wall by the entrance. Alec froze, breath catching in his throat. _By the Angel_ he was beautiful. Magnus was elegant, beautiful even when it appeared to be effortless. The older man was lean, long legs stretching sinfully out in snug slacks. Starting at his studded boots, Alec drug his eyes up up up the Warlock's body, unconsciously licking his lips at the way his crimson buttondown hugged his body. Magnus’ eyes were smoky, red to match the shirt, even the tips of his coif were dipped in crimson. He watched as Magnus stepped off the wall, jeweled hands brushing himself off as he glanced around. 

Alec saw the moment Magnus spotted him, watched the glamored eyes light up with pleasure before they roamed his body approvingly. The older man shot him a quick, delighted grin and a cheesy thumbs up before waving Aec over. 

“Alexander!” Leaning up to press a chaste kiss to his cheek, Magnus spun and linked their arms. “I’m so glad you came! I think you’ll enjoy this restaurant, it is laid back and spacious. No pressure!”

Alec laughed, arm tightening around Magnus’. “No pressure, huh?” Alec pulled out Magnus’ chair, smiling brightly when the warlock giggled at the gesture. Reaching down, he cupped a large hand along the older man’s jaw. Leaning in close, Alec brushed their lips together, holding back from actually kissing and smiled at the hitch in breath and soft, lusty moan. “Is this pressure?” 

Leaning closer, Alec pressed their lips together, breathy sigh escaping him as he tilted his head, leading Magnus into deepening the kiss. They moved together for a moment longer before Alec pulled back, forehead resting against the warlock’s. “Thanks for asking me out Mags.”

A blinding smile like Alec had never seen before pulled at Magnus’ lips. “Oh, anytime Alexander. Anytime. In fact, allow me to extend a permanent invitation.”

Sitting, Alec grabbed his menu to hide his delighted grin. “Permanent?”

Magnus stretched a leg out, foot curling around the Shadowhunter’s calf. “I foresee many, many dates, Love.”

Flicking his fingers, Magnus tilted his head with a wicked grin. “Now, important question my darling Nephilim, would you rather be able to fly or to teleport?”

With a startled laugh, Alec shook his head and reached for Magnus’ hand. He wound their fingers together, delighting in the pleased expression on the warlock’s face. “Well, this is a tough question indeed. Requires much consideration. Flight has many advantages, the enjoyability factor is high as well. However, teleportation saves time and could be useful for long distance. Would this flight require wings? Would teleportation be noisy?”

Giggling, Magnus’ shoulders shook as he wiggled his hand against Alec’s. “No wings needed for flight…”

“Disappointing.”

“Tragic, I know. As for teleportation, no noise, slight odor.”

Tapping his chin in consideration, Alec felt warm under Magnus’ amused gaze, their hands wiggled comfortably together, fingers tightening and relaxing in a soothing rhythm “Hmm, the odor is a turn off, no doubt. I’d have to say… Flight.”

Laughing, Magnus cleared his throat and sang softly “I can show you the world.”

Raising his eyebrows, Alec smiled at the missed reference. “I know I’m supposed to get that, but I don’t, so I’m going to just agree, you probably can.”

“Ah, well.” 

Magnus cleared his throat, suddenly interested in his menu. If Alec didn’t know better he would say he was... “Are you blushing?”

Lifting his menu to hide his face, Magnus ducked back and started reading out from the appetizer section. “They have a blooming onion! What do you think that is?”

“You are blushing!” Grinning, Alec reached out and pushed Magnus’ menu down, taking in the red tips of bejeweled ears, and the dusty blush spread high over pronounced cheekbones. “Gosh, you’re gorgeous.” It was Alec’s turn to blush, embarrassed by his own lack of filter around the warlock. 

The breathtaking grin that spread across Magnus’ face made every second of mortification worth it. Magnus, however, was a gentleman, and politely ignored the blush on the younger man’s face. “Now, blooming onion. Do we risk it? Do you think it is a performance art food?”

“What, like they bring it out and it blooms like a flower?”

“Yes, I am hopeful that they dance as they bring it out too, maybe light fireworks. I’m ordering one!” Lifting a hand, Magnus started flagging down the nearest waitress, pretending not to notice Alec dropping his head down in laughter. 

“This is disappointing.”

Alec giggled, mirthful tears wetting his eyelashes as he watched Magnus eye the deep fried blooming onion the pretty waitress had set down. 

“Don’t laugh Alexander, this is a travesty!”

“It’s mundane Mags, did you really think it would bloom?”

“Well, no, but I at least hoped for a more floral presentation. Hang on.” Winking, Magnus snapped his fingers and smiled in triumph when the onion in question twisted into the shape of a deep fried rose. “There! Much better.”

Shaking his head, Alec smiled at the other man, clutching their clasped fingers tightly in amusement. “I don’t think I want to eat that.”

Looking affronted, Magnus reached out to pluck a ‘petal’ from the onion and popped it into his mouth. With a horrified face, Magnus snatched both hands away to spit the food into napkin, glaring at Alec’s peals of laughter. “Oh, that is just horrific. Don’t laugh Alexander, I’m all powerful, I’ll curse you with blooming onions for all eternity.”

Gasping, Alec rubbed his hands down his face, pausing to brush back amused tears. “Will you now? That seems unhealthy.”

With a soft expression, Magnus reached out and brushed stray hair away from Alec’s forehead, eyes soft. “I’m so glad we found time to do this.”

Grabbing at Magnus’ hand, Alec twisted their fingers together again, smile bright. “Me too.”

They both laughed at their sappiness, but they didn’t pull their hands back. When the waitress came, she smiled in delight at their clasped hands, and Alec was pretty sure she snuck larger portions on their plates when she returned with Magnus’ fiesta salad and Alec’s sirloin. She didn’t even blush when Magnus thanked her with a flirty wink, she seemed enamoured with them as a couple, which made pleasure burn hot in Alec’s stomach. 

He never considered how other people outside of the clave would react. Having spent little time in the Mundane realm, he was a little surprised at the complete lack of attention their open affection garnered. He had always had this mildly primitive picture of Mundanes in his head, imagining them to be a less enlightened, less useful shadowhunter offspring. It would seem that much like the Shadowhunter view on Downworlders, the view on Mundanes was just as skewed. 

Dinner stretched for a few hours, all of which passed with the most exceptional service Alec had ever had. He and Magnus barely paid attention to the food, too busy talking and laughing together. When the restaurant lights began to dim, Magnus tossed a handful of cash on the table and led Alec out with a guiding hand. 

“Would you like to take a walk in the park or come back for a nightcap Darling?”

Shifting to grab Magnus’ hand, Alec swung their hands between them, startling a laugh out of the warlock. “I could go for a nightcap.”

Arms swinging, they walked the few blocks back to Magnus’ with easy conversation between them. Alec led Magnus up the stairs behind Pandemonium, smiling impishly over his shoulder at the shorter man. “C’mon old man.”

Magnus shoved at Alec in mock outrage, laughing as he was pulled the rest of the way up the stairs. Alec tugged hard, forcing Magnus up the stairs and against the door. Pressing up against the warlock, Alec ghosted his lips over the shorter man’s. Magnus moaned softly, body pressing back against Alec’s. Reaching up, Alec buried his hands in crimson dipped hair, big hands forcing Magnus’ head back, he felt fingers tugging at his belt loops. Smiling into the kiss, Alec fucked his tongue into the warlock’s mouth, leg creeping forward to slip his knee between Magnus’ thighs. 

“Alexander, Darling, inside. Bed. Oh, oh _Lilith Please_ inside.”

Grunting, Alec nodded frantically as Magnus mouthed his way across the Shadowhunter’s jaw. “Yeah, yeah bed sounds good.”

They stumbled inside, Alec kicking the door shut behind him. They left a trail of shoes and socks behind them, knocking into walls and furniture as they made their way to the bedroom. Alec let himself get pushed back onto the bed once they reached it. Leaning up on his elbows he watched as Magnus smirked down at him, deft fingers skimming down the buttons of his shirt. The warlock rolled his shoulders, letting the shirt fall and smiling as Alec’s jaw dropped, eyes fixed on his chest. 

“ _Angel_ Mags, you’re gorgeous.”

Magnus laughed, hands dropping to his waist. “What are you waiting for Little Soldier? Strip!” 

Giggling, Alec wriggled out of his clothes. “Sir, yes sir!” 

Pulling his boxer briefs off, Alec froze with them around his ankles, eyes locked on Magnus’, now naked, body. _“By the Angel.”_

Smiling, Magnus dropped down to pull the young man’s pants the rest of the way off, tossing them over his shoulder as he climbed his way up Alec’s body, tongue and lips darting down randomly to brush against the taller man’s body. “Your body, Alexander, I could lay you down and worship you for days.”

“Oh, _Angel_ yes.”

Magnus licked his way into his mouth, body rolling sinfully, hips jerking against the taller man’s. “How do you want me Alexander? Do you want me to do this?” Magnus rolled his hips, grinding their erections together. “Rut against you like horny teenagers until you come all over me? Or…?”

Gasping, Alec tried to follow his lips, body shuddering. “Or? Or what?”

Leaning down, Magnus bit at his ear, letting his chest, and hardened nipples graze against Alec’s. “Or, I could finger myself open while you watch, and fuck myself raw on your cock.”

Moaning, Alec bucked and flipped them over. “Yes, yes. God, let me fuck you, let me finger you. Angel, let me cum inside you.”

Gasping into Alec’s mouth, Magnus snapped his fingers, lube popped into existence near Alec’s hand. “Handy thing, magic.” Alec murmured, chuckling as his fingers sought out the tube, biting and sucking his way down Magnus’ chest. 

Swallowing his nerves, Alec eyed the Warlock’s cock, hands shaking as he wrapped a tentative hand around the engorged shaft. The older man was uncut, and ridiculously, intimidatingly huge. Magnus gasped, hips jerking enough to encourage the Nephilim into dropping down and wrapping his lips around him. 

Magnus released a strangled scream, hips jerking harshly this time, almost gagging the taller boy. “Oh, _fuck_ Alexander!”

Opening the lube with a loud snap, Alec tried not to soak the bed as he coated his fingers, unsure of how much to use. Lifting away, Alec smiled up at Magnus as he slid a hand down, fingers exploring as he brushed against the warlock’s ass. 

Breathing heavily, Alec held his breath as he slipped a finger in, laughing nervously as Magnus let out a breathy, content sigh. _“Alexander.”_

Pressing a kiss to the warlock’s hip and thigh, Alec smiled against sweat salted skin. “I’ve got you Mags.” 

Alec took his time, pumping his finger in and out for a few minutes before slipping in a second finger, he grinned at the moan he ripped out of the warlock and spread his fingers. He went slow, twisting his wrist and bending his fingers in exploration. The internet was a great and wonderful tool. With a searching twist, Alec brushed his fingers against a tight bundle of nerves and was nearly thrown off the bed as Magnus bucked his hips, shouting in shock. Stroking against Magnus, Alec licked his lips and pulled back to add a third finger. 

Alec stiffened his fingers and sought out that magical bundle of nerves, huffing out a breathy laugh when Magnus practically screamed, hips jerking down. A thrill shot through him every time Magnus let out a breathy sigh, a heady moan or just gasped his name. Alec felt powerful, his body sang with want and lust. He couldn’t believe he had a nearly ancient warlock writhing on his fingers. 

“Please Alexander, please. I’m ready. Just fuck me. _Please!_ ”

Smirking, Alec slammed against his prostate a few more times before he yanked his fingers out, smirk pulling into a smile at the keening wail Magnus released. “You want me?” Leaning up, Alec forced his tongue into Magnus’ mouth, swallowing the other man’s response. “You want me to fuck you? Pound you raw with my cock?”

Magnus ripped away, gasping. “Yes, Yes! Please fuck me! Alexander, _please_!”

Hands snaking down, Alec hiked the warlock’s legs up, hooking his knees over his shoulders. Pausing to admire the begging man, Alec ran his hands down his thighs and gripped tightly at Magnus’ hips, body jerking forward as he fucked into the shorter man. He groaned, moving rough and fast, hips pushing down against Magnus, holding the man down with his body. 

“Alexander, love, slow down!” Gasping, Magnus scratched his nails down the young man’s back. “Alexander! Love! Stop for a moment pet.”

Alec smiled down at the warlock, hands sliding up to grab Magnus by the wrists, holding his hands over the older mans head, body bending Magnus roughly in half. He forced his hips to slow, cock sliding against the incredible heat of the warlock as he spread his knees and lifted the other man higher, seeking out the best angle to make Magnus scream. 

Leaning down to drag Magnus into a slow kiss, Alec gripped a little tighter at his wrists, fingers brushing against pulse points. At the increased pressure Magnus struggled, body twisting. “Alexander! I don’t like, “ Gasping, Magnus struggled harder, panic creeping at his chest. “I don’t like being held down!”

Snapping back, Alec had a moment to snatch his hands away to release the warlock when Magnus hissed, bucking hard as his magic snapped around him like wildfire. Alec cried out as Magnus’ magic slammed into him and forced him off the bed and onto the floor, pinning him down for a moment, before it disappeared with a soft caress. 

Groaning, Alec climbed to his feet, erection wilting from the jarring encounter with Magnus’ magic. “Damn Mags, what was that? You okay?”

Brushing his hair back, Alec shook himself as he stepped toward the bed. “Mags what’s…” Pausing, Alec took in Magnus, who was shaking and gasping on the bed, his magic wrapping around him like a blanket. “Magnus! What’s wrong?” Jumping forward, Alec climbed toward his lover, hands hovering nervously over the warlock’s shuddering body. “Mags, what’s wrong? What did I do?”

Reaching out, Alec tentatively pulled the older man toward him, wrapping his arms around the man as he shook. “Magnus, Love, you gotta breathe.”

Gasping, Magnus took a few deep breaths before sagging in Alec’s arms. “I’m sorry Alec.”

Frowning, Alec turned Magnus to face him, fingers reaching up to brush the man’s hair back. “No, I’m sorry. I got carried away, and I didn’t hear you. What happened Mags?”

Closing his eyes, Magnus twisted so his back was resting against Alec’s chest, hands sliding down to tangle with the Shadowhunter’s. “It is perhaps something we should have discussed. I do not like being restrained.”

Alec pressed a soft kiss against the man’s neck, eyes sliding shut in shame .”I’m so sorry Mags. I had no idea! I can’t believe I got so caught up like that! I’m sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault Pet, how were you to know?”

“Can I… Can I ask why?”

Sighing, Magnus twisted, forcing them both on their backs, Alec curled into his side. “It isn’t a pretty story Darling.”

Alec slid his fingers around where his belly button would be if Magnus were human, humming thoughtfully. “Anything that causes that reaction wouldn’t be, I imagine. You don’t have to tell me Maggie, I’m here to listen, or just here to be with you.”

Pressing a kiss to Alec’s forehead, Magnus smiled sadly. “It’s alright Pet, save for this moment, I am actually at peace with what happened. When I was young, perhaps in my late 90’s, I was foolish, as most youth are. I was arrogant and too cocky with my abilities and thus, made myself vulnerable. 

A rowdy group of young Shadowhunter’s got their hands on some, shall we say special, handcuffs. They bind the magic of the wearer. I had begun to make a name for myself, young and talented and pretty, and they were interested. I got caught off guard one night after working late with a client, I am ashamed to say I never even had time to recognize what was happening before they had the shackles on me. 

They drug me off path and took turns, _experimenting_ , with the foolish young warlock. They pinned the cuffs to the ground and I was trapped there for what felt like hours. When they were finished, they were kind enough to unpin the cuffs, but not so kind as to undo them. I broke both of my thumbs and my right index finger getting them off.”

Alec took a swipe at his eyes, anguished for Magnus. “I’m so sorry Magnus. I am sorry I made you think of them, of that. Are you, were you, what can I do for you Maggie?”

Rolling onto his side, Magnus smiled softly, eyes shining, and expression loving. “Oh my darling Alexander, you are already doing everything I could ever need.” Leaning forward, Magnus pressed their lips together, slow and deep. 

Sighing into the kiss, Alex twisted their legs together, hands spreading out across the warlock’s back. They moved languidly together, hands roaming softly and lovingly, hips rolling together with renewed interest. Magnus gasped into Alec’s mouth when their erections pushed together, body arching like a cat. Alec whined low in his throat, reaching down, he slipped his fingers into Magnus, probing softly and smiling as the warlock moaned. “Roll over Mags. Gods, _please_.”

Pressing a quick kiss to the tip of Alec’s nose, Magnus spun and shifted his hips back, pressing against his erection. Alec slid his hands down, tangling them around Magnus’ erection, both hands gentle as his fingers grazed through precum. He stretched his arms to press large fingers into his perineum while he fisted his cock with his other hand, grinning when Magnus moaned, hips jerking back against Alec’s own straining member. He reveled in the warlock’s pleasure, determined to make this experience all about the older man, determined to **never** be the reason for Magnus feeling unsafe or upset.

Pressing soft, barely there kisses to the back of Magnus’ neck, Alec moved slowly, sliding himself into the warlock with a content sigh from both of them. “I’m so sorry Magnus. I promise I will never hurt you. I promise no one will ever hurt you if I can help it.”

Magnus reached back, tangling his fingers in the Shadowhunter’s hair, hips encouraging the man to move. Alec set a slow rhythm, body rolling in time with Magnus’. He coaxed the prettiest moans from the smaller man, hands and fingers dancing over the man’s erection, squeezing, rubbing, teasing as he angled his hips to seek out the warlock’s prostate. 

Alec moaned, body tightening, hips jerking back against the Shadowhunter’s. “ _Oh, Alexander_.”

Alec smiled at the breathy moan, his lips pressed firmly against the Warlock’s neck. “Cum for me Magnus. Let me feel you.”

Magnus moaned, body jerking indecisively between Alec’s hands and cock. “Alexander. _Please_.”

Pressing closer, Alec moved a little faster, hands gripping tighter. “Magnus, I’ve got you. Cum for me.”

Throwing his head back, Magnus wailed as he finally came, body spasming against Alec, clamping down on the man’s cock. Groaning, Alec jerked his hips once more before falling over the edge after the warlock. “Gods, Magnus!”

Coming down from his high, Alec frowned as he noticed Magnus was shaking in his arms. “Mags, what’s wrong?”

Twisting, Magnus spun around in his arms, hands coming up to rest against Alec’s jaw. “Nothing Love, I am just.” Laughing, Magnus bowed his head as tears slipped down his cheeks. “I am just happy.”

Reaching up, Alec brushed away the warlock’s tears, smiling when he felt Magnus’ fingers brushing away at his wet eyes. They both moved at the same time, lips pressing together languidly, bodies pressing closer, legs twisting around each other. Alec slipped his arms around the older man, hands rubbing at the warlock’s neck and back. 

“Me too Mags.”

_**~oo0 Now 0oo~** _

Alec paced, hands running through his hair nervously. They were in Magnus’ apartment again, the stale air not any lighter than last time. Clary had opened windows, her and Izzy going so far as to light incense, hoping to put some of the soothing sage smell they all associated with Magnus back into the apartment as they waited for Catarina. 

After his revelation, realizing he loved Magnus, that he needed the Warlock in his life and arms, Alec had found Jace. He had gone into long detail about how much he needed to get Magnus back, only stopping when Jace slapped a hand over the older man’s mouth, lips twisted into a delighted grin. He hadn’t questioned his parabatai, only patting his shoulder before running off to find Clary and Izzy. 

Alec didn’t deserve his friends, their devotion and support was priceless to him, and after what he had done to Magnus he had never been more thankful for their support. Only two weeks had passed since they had found out about Magnus and the Tomb of Souls, two weeks since he realized the consequences of his betrayal. Two weeks since he found out he may have lost Magnus forever with his selfishness. 

Sighing, Alec checked his watch, cursing at the time and ignoring the worried looks his friends were sending him. Catarina was keeping them in suspense, perhaps rightfully so. She had only agreed to see them after Alec had begged her for two days straight. Even then, she had insisted on the meeting being at Magnus’ apartment, at 11 in the evening. 

With one last glance at his watch, Alec pulled out his phone to attempt calling the warlock when a snap of magic caught their attention and a purple portal lit up the room. Catarina stepped through, graceful and elegant. 

“You wished to see me, Lightwood?”

Freezing, Alec tried to shake off the sound of his heart thudding in his chest as he waved a hand towards the couch. “Yeah, it’s about Magnus.”

Taking a seat on the settee, Catarina lifted her eyebrows with a wry expression. “I assumed as much.”

Alec laughed nervously, taking a seat between Jace and Izzy on the couch, they all tried to pretend not to notice how Magnus’ favorite chair was left unoccupied. “Yes, well.” Sighing, Alec rubbed the back of his neck, eyes sliding shut. “I had time to think about what you told me. About how I needed to be sure that I loved Magnus the right way. And I do. Love him. I want to be with him. I want… I want him!”

Catarina seemed unmoved, her eyes cold as she peered dangerously at him, the light from her portal casting a shadow across her. “While that is all good and well, you are too late.”

Body going rigid, Alec felt his heart pounding, feeling Jace’s hands grasping at his shoulders in shock. “Too late?”

“Yes.”

“How… how? Is he? Is Magnus.... Where is he?” Jumping to his feet, Alec stormed toward the warlock, body tight with rage. **”Where is he?”**

Curling her lip in a sneer, Catarina flicked her fingers at him, sending him back to the couch. “He is alive. And awake. Seems like he didn’t need you after all.”

“Awake? Does that mean, is he still… Him?”

Catarina seemed to deflate, her body sinking back into the settee. “He is still Magnus, most of him.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that his magic found him a new complete.”

Breath catching in his throat, Alec flinched back. “What? How? Who!?”

Catarina opened her mouth to respond, her shoulders curling forward, another voice cut across the room, interrupting her before she could get a word out.

“It means, that my magic has accepted a new complete. A new grounding power to sustain my life.”

Eyes cutting toward the portal, Alec’s whole body threatened to give out at the sight of Magnus standing there, looking as healthy as ever. The warlock looked the same and different all at once. He appeared more relaxed than Alec had ever seen him, his shoulders seemed to not hold the weight of the universe any longer. His eyes were un-glamored, pupils slit and glowing yellow with power. Power that seemed to seep out of him. 

It took Alec a moment before he noticed the warlock’s ears, the newly pointed tips peeking out from behind his styled hair. When Magnus smiled at Catarina, the Shadowhunters gasped at the gleam of sharpened teeth. 

Jace seemed to recover enough to bark out a stuttering “Who?” Before sinking back as if to hide from the raw power emitting from the warlock.

Magnus directed his newly pointed smile at the group, eyes gleaming. “Me.”

Frowning, Alec pushed himself up, and toward the older man. “Magnus.”

Magnus locked his eyes on Alec, smile sad but firm. “It means I no longer need to rely on another to ground my power. My magic decided that the only reliable person in existence was myself. My body recognized the bond, and instead of my magic siphoning off to fuel another's eternal life, it is now free within me.” Waving a hand at his ears and mouth, Magnus seemed to glow an unholy blue with power. “As I am sure you can see.”

Jace stood up, body moving protectively toward Alec’s frozen form, grabbing his shoulder as the older boy implored “What does that mean Magnus?”

Magnus took a step toward Alec, unable to stop himself from being drawn to the man. When he lifted his hand to the Shadowhunter’s cheek he couldn’t stop the smirk at the shocked gasps his newly clawed fingers received. Softly, as to avoid hurting him, Magnus traced a sharp clawed finger over the man’s strong, scruffy jaw. “It means I don’t need anyone else, ever again. It means, Alexander, that I don’t need you.”

Leaning forward, Magnus pressed a kiss to Alec’s lips, mouth like frost and tasting like sulfur and ash, he licked his way into the Shadowhunter’s mouth, fingers curling around the man’s neck and pulling him close. Alec moaned, body leaning down into the Warlock’s wicked mouth and hands. He keened deeply, pushing against Magnus, chests and groins lining up. He forgot everyone else as a spark of arousal curled low in his gut. Alec shivered as Magnus’ clawed fingers scraped at his scalp, gasping as the warlock pulled away. He shuddered, smoke coiling out of his mouth. Magnus smiled, pointed teeth gleaming as the same smoke curled around his jaw. Alec tasted sulfur and magic, his lips were cold, like frost, and his body ached, arching forward after Magnus as the warlock pulled away. 

With a wicked smile, Magnus tapped a sharp claw against Alec’s jaw, leaning forward, lips barely grazing the Shadowhunter’s, he purred “Now, **get out of my house.** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the plot thickens. This ran away from me. There is now an unexpected chapter three on it's way.


	3. The Heart Aches, The Soul Forgives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter! I hadn't realized how long it had been since my previous chapter. 
> 
> There is an obscene overuse of the 'L' word. Enjoy!

Alec stumbled back, eyes wide as he stared at the unfamiliar face in front of him. This wasn’t Magnus. This angry thing wasn’t the loving, sweet man he knew. “Magnus.”

Magnus twisted his mouth into a frown, golden eyes glittering in the dim light of the room. Alec could see his Magnus behind the rage, he could see the pain hidden behind faux confidence. “Magnus, _please_.”

The shorter man blinked slowly, expression frozen. “You may stay, we need to speak, everyone else needs to go. For now.” Looking at the others for a moment, a sad smile wiped away the wicked grin. “For now. I will find you all and thank you all personally for your love and kindness when I am in a better mind.”

Isabelle and Clary looked as if they wanted nothing more than to run forward and hug the warlock, they refrained, however, and followed a quite Jace out of the apartment. Catarina took a moment to wrap her long arms around her friend, eyes soft, kind. “Call me.”

“Of course Sweet. Thank you.”

Catarina eyed Alec before leaning close to Magnus’ ear. “ _Forgive him. Not right away. Not all at once. But forgive him. He loves you Magnus. He is young. And cruel. And you love him._ ”

Alec knew he wasn’t supposed to hear her as she whispered, but he did, and he had to turn away to swallow down the tears threatening to fall. 

Magnus spoke softly, too softly for Alec to hear, before kissing his friend on the cheek and watching her walk away. “Perhaps we should speak honestly, Alexander.”

Alec nodded, not yet trusting himself to speak.

“Let’s get us something to drink, yes?”

Alec trailed after the warlock like a puppy, feeling both lost and found all at once. He took the drink Magnus held out, careful of the new nails tapering at the end of the other man’s fingers. 

“Can I… I mean. Is it alright if…”

Turning, Alec watched the amused smile flit briefly across Magnus’ face. “Ask what you want to ask.”

“It’s just… The nails, the teeth, the ears. Not that they’re bad, I’m just… Why?”

Eyebrow rising, Magnus looked faintly amused again, ice cubes clinking gently in his glass as he sipped thoughtfully. “The Tomb of Souls comes with a price. We sacrifice our humanity, piece by piece. The longer we are there, the less humanity is left. The changes, for me, are mostly physical, extreme Warlock Marks, if you will.”

“They, I mean, it… You look good. They suit you.”

Magnus smiled, not attempting to hide it as he walked toward the Shadowhunter. “You don’t look well, you look tired, thin. Have you been taking care of yourself at all Alexander?”

Shaking his head, Alec attempted to reach for him, sighing when Magnus twisted away, just enough to evade his touch. “I’ve been busy. I have… I was working on my insides, not my outsides.”

Magnus frowned, eyes skimming over the young man. “I could eat. Let me order us some food, then we can talk.”

“Magnus…” Magnus lifted a hand, silencing him with barely a glance before he snapped his fingers, magic snapping food into existence. The scent of Chinese food silenced any protests he had, his stomach rumbling, embarrassingly loud. “OK.”

They sat in barstools at the kitchen counter, feet dangling. They didn’t speak, or use plates, the familiarity of the situation had pits of anguish welling in his stomach. Alec choked down Lo Mein, gladly passing it off for the proffered Fried Rice as he and Magnus traded cartons. 

They ate in silence. They weren’t tense, or relaxed, they just _were_. Side by side, shoulders touching as they passed food between them. The gentle click of chopsticks drowned out by the sounds of them eating. 

They didn't rush, they just silently, calmly, enjoying their meal. They finished together, and cleared away the mess together. Magnus refilled their drinks, and they sat on the ledge of Magnus’ bay window, facing each other. Magnus seemed thoughtful, arms curved toward himself protectively. Their silence was calm, almost soothing. When Magnus finally spoke Alec jumped, startled.

“Do you know what I dreamt about, Alexander, while I was trapped with my magic in there? Locked away in the Tomb of Souls.”

Swallowing heavily, Alec twirled the whiskey in his glass. “No.”

“I dreamt of us. Of the first date we went on. And the evening we shared. Do you remember our first date Alexander? The dinner? The walk home? The first night we made love?”

Alec watched as Magnus trailed a sharp finger over the rim of his glass, the high pitched hum that followed from the scrape of his nail on the glass made him wince. “I remember.”

Magnus smiled sadly, his golden eyes shimmered with tears. “I was trapped there, in that damnable Tomb, and all I could think of was that night. I knew you were my complete that night, after you held me when I responded so unpleasantly to being held down. My magic knew you were my complete that night too. I felt whole, with you.”

Magnus got up from his perch, hands trembling. Alec stood to follow the warlock across the loft, body heavy. “Magnus…”

Whipping around, Magnus slammed the glass down, hands shooting out to fist in Alec’s shirt, he yanked the taller man forward, eyes locked on his. “I love you Alexander. I love you more than the Sun loves the Moon. I love you more than Life loves Death. And the moment I saw you after I woke up, here, for me, all I wanted to do was surround myself with you and pretend none of this ever happened.”

Alec reached down, hands resting against Magnus’, heart clenching at the tremors he felt. “Mags…”

Magnus pulled back, hands sliding away to reach up and brush his tears away. “I almost did. I almost ignored everything and ran to you. But then, then I saw you stand, and I couldn't stop picturing you with him. I love you Alexander, but I love me too. I don’t think I can forget what you’ve done. Honestly. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive it either.”

“Magnus, please. Can I explain? Why I did what I did.”

Sighing, Magnus nodded, weary. “Of course Dar...Alexander.”

Alec reached out and grabbed the warlock’s hand, tugging him back toward the couch where he tugged the older man to sit down beside him. “Before I say anything else, I am sorry Magnus. So, so sorry. I hate myself for what I did, and I know you can never forget, and you never should, but I’m hoping if I explain myself right, you might let me work at earning your forgiveness.”

Leaning back, Alec licked his lips nervously, hands shaking as he reached out to grab Magnus, fingers twining together with the warlock. “Greyson works for The Clave. He was placed in The Institute to be a direct liaison with The Clave, namely, my parents. He is so different from you. And I thought that I wanted that. You’re eccentric, and flamboyant Magnus, I’m not. I’ve always been so worried that you would grow bored with me. I never want to go out, I hate parties and social events, and you love them. I just, I guess I just wanted to protect myself. 

You’re the first person I’ve ever been with, the first person I’ve ever truly felt this way for. And I guess, I just… My parents wont even look at me Magnus. My mother leaves the room when I walk in. And my father actually flinches away from me, like I’m diseased. And I thought that, maybe if I was with a Shadowhunter, from the Clave even, then at least they could overlook the fact that it was a man. 

I thought that if I forced myself to fall in love with Grey then I… I don’t know. Earn back their love? Or at least have them not be repulsed by me. Grey was handsome, and we got along, we were similar. But, he’s not you. And every time I was near him all I did was compare him to you and I always, always found him coming up short. He’s nothing, Magnus, nothing. We only slept together once, and I only kissed him a few times. It wasn’t, he isn’t important. You’re important Magnus. And I lov...mmph.”

“No!” Magnus slapped a hand over Alec’s mouth, clawed fingers pressing into the other man’s cheek. “No. Don’t say it Alexander.”

Alec reached up and pulled his hand down, frowning. “Magnus, what?”

“You can’t just throw that around Alexander! Words have power!”

“Magnus, I don’t understand. I lov”

“Stop! Dammit Alexander, stop!” Jumping up, Magnus brushed his hands down his front with a trembling sweep. “You can’t say that Alexander.”

“Why? Why can't I say it?”

Magnus reached for another drink, visibly shaking as he poured and swallowed the tumbler full in a few graceful seconds. “There are things that need to be done, Alexander. Things I have not yet done.”

Alex frowned, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. Getting up, Alec reached out to grab at the warlock, hands wrapping around the shorter man’s wrists. “Magnus, calm down. Talk to me.”

Sighing, Magnus looked up at Alec, golden eyes flashing in the low light of the apartment. Pulling away, Magnus grabbed another drink, holding it in his hands to keep from fidgeting. “Complete bonds are old bonds, they were born when warlocks were created. Which means, old fashioned traditions must be upheld.”

Pausing to sip at his drink, Magnus peered up at Alec through his eyelashes in that particular was that made the taller man lose all train of thought. “I have to consummate my bond in order for my magic to fully accept **me** as my own partner.”

Blushing hotly, Alec tried not to stare as Magnus set his drink down, claw tipped fingers drumming against his thigh. “Consummate?” Alec squeaked, unable to stop the tone of his voice from breaking away from his control. 

Smirking, Magnus stepped toward Alec, hands clasped in front of his waist. “Yes, consummate. You see, I just woke up, I haven’t exactly had time to be alone with myself, so I haven’t been able to consummate my complete bond.”

Alec felt hot all over, turned on and embarrassed, he couldn’t look away. “How, _exactly_ , are you supposed to consummate with yourself?”

Chuckling, Magnus relaxed his hands, neck tilting back so he could look Alec in the eye. “Well, Alexander, if you remember I am quite flexible and own a handful of very helpful toys. I am _quite_ capable of consummating with myself.” 

Shaking his head, Magnus stepped back and reached for his drink again. “Any way, I have to consummate the bond in order for my magic to recognize the complete. Until then, my magic, my bond, is fragile. It could be broken easily. That is why you need to watch what you say. Anything you say may confuse it, causing it to shatter or reverse.”

Stepping forward, Alec reached out to pull the drink out of Magnus’ fingers and set it down. Moving closer, he clasped Magnus’ hands in his own, pulling the Warlock close, Alec pressed their foreheads together, bodies shifting toward each other. “But I do. I love you Magnus. I am in love with you. And I am going to spend the rest of my life earning your trust back.” 

Sighing, Alec pressed a chaste, fleeting kiss against Magnus’ lips. “I'm sorry if this isn't what you want, but I have to say it, you may never let me have another chance and you need to know. I need you to know.”

Pressing closer, Alec pressed their lips together again, desperate. “I love you Magnus Bane.”

Magnus gasped, hands jerking, he shoved Alec back and stumbled away. “What did you do?”

Alec froze, watching as the magic that hummed beneath Magnus’ skin snapped and popped like fireworks before stretching in great, royal blue tendrils toward Alec. “Magnus…?”

Gasping, Alec clenched his eyes shut tightly as the magic reached him, body going rigid as the magic caressed him before it reared back and slammed into him, sending him and Magnus flying. Alec jerked, his body shaking with electricity, the magic flooded his veins, swarming like bees as it headed toward his heart. Head snapping back, Alec’s back arched as he screamed, the magic burned inside of him. Distantly he could hear Magnus screaming as well.

It seemed like eternity before the pain subsided, the magic coiled in his belly like a heavy, powerful snake. Blinking, Alec let out a shaky sigh before pulling himself up. “Magnus, what happened?”

Magnus was curled up across from him, body trembling as his magic skittered over his flesh like angry insects. “Magnus?”

The warlock groaned, legs beginning to stretch out as his magic began to sink back into him. “Stupid, stupid Nephilim.”

Pushing himself to his feet, Alec stumbled drunkenly toward the older man. “Magnus, are you alright?”

Pausing to press a hand against his flushed forehead, Alec swallowed down his confused nausea as he crouched down beside Magnus. Reaching out, Alec ran his hand down the warlock’s arm, fingers vibrating like livewire when the magic in his gut reached forward with arcing sparks towards Magnus’ magic. “Magnus, what just happened?”

With a weary moan, Magnus pushed himself up, sitting between Alec’s jutting knees. “You stupid, ridiculous, _exhausting_ man.”

Brow furrowing, Alec thumped down so he was sitting behind Magnus, long legs sprawling out on either side of the warlock. “What?”

Magnus sighed, eyes sliding shut as claw tipped fingers rubbed at his forehead. “You enacted the Complete Rite. You are now magically, devoutly and _eternally_ my complete.”

Body rigid, Alec closed his eyes and tried to wrap his head around what Magnus was saying. “What…? How…? What?!”

Magnus twisted around to face him, legs shifting so he was sitting criss cross between Alec’s sprawled knees. The warlock reached out, clawed fingers pressing against Alec’s heart. “Do you feel it?”

Magnus’ fingers burned, like loving electricity. The weight of the borrowed magic unfurled in his stomach, tendrils of power stretched up and out, reaching longingly for Magnus. Alec gasped, body thrumming with energy. “Yes.” He breathed. 

“That is my magic, _our_ magic now. You were pure. You spoke with purity. My magic responded to your admission of love, despite my unwillingness. We are now bonded. It seems like you might have more time than you thought to see if forgiveness is an option.”

Magnus slumped forward, head resting against Alec’s chest, cheek pressed against the Shadowhunter’s heart. “You stupid, _stupid_ boy.”

Alec wrapped his arms around the exhausted warlock, disbelief making his arms clumsy and slow. “What does this mean Magnus?”

“It _means_ Alexander, that we are now one. I hadn’t completed my Rite of soul-completion, it takes time, meditation, reflection, _consummation_ to turn your complete bond inward. You blundered it. Your confession of love was heralded as absolution. My magic, naturally wanting to bond with you, responded. We are bonded, Alexander. We are Complete.”

“Magnus” Alec struggled to keep the confused, excited giddiness out of his voice, arms tightening around the older man. “I know you didn’t want this. I… are you upset?”

“I don’t know.”

Tilting his head, Alec pressed a slow kiss to his head, again and again. Hands clenching against firm biceps and shoulder blades. “I’m sorry your magic didn’t give you a choice. It’s not fair. You should have a choice. I… How do I fix this?”

He felt Magnus shaking his head, felt the soft brush of lips against his collarbone. “There is no _fix_ , Alexander. We are bound. Eternally. We will have to find peace in this. I will have to find peace in this.”

Resting his forehead atop Magnus’ head, Alec felt guilt creeping along the edges of his excitement. “I’m sorry Magnus. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this. I mean, I can’t say I’m upset, I did want this, but, eventually, mutually. I’m sorry this was forced on you, that is the last thing I wanted. I just… I just was afraid you’d never speak to me again. And I needed you to know how I felt. I needed to tell you that I loved you. And I do, love you that is. I love you.” Alec pressed a kiss against the warlock’s head again, “I love you.” Again, “I love you.” Again, “I love you.”

Squeezing his eyes shut, Alec sucked in a shuddering breath, tears slipping down his cheeks. He felt like he forced this, forced himself, on the warlock. He felt like he had cheated the older man, robbed him of choice, like so many had before. “I love you.”

“It isn’t entirely your fault.” Magnus shifted in his arms, twisting so he rested more firmly against Alec. “I love you. Your betrayal doesn’t change that. It couldn’t change that. I have loved you since you kissed me at your wedding. I will love you until this world burns and we burn with it. Perhaps I wasn’t meant to have the Rite pass. Part of me, a strong part of me, must have wanted our complete more than I wanted to shield myself from it, from you.”

“What do we do?”

“We begin with conversation, Alexander. We begin with honestly, and boundaries, and we go forward from there.”

Magnus tipped back in his arms, golden eyes red-rimmed from tears. “I can not, and will not promise forgiveness. You need to understand and accept that, Alexander, before we can look at going anywhere at all. What you did, was wrong. You hurt us, you hurt me, you betrayed everything we built. It will take time to work past that.”

Alec nodded in acceptance, glorious hope budding in his chest. “I understand. We have time, if what you say is true, we have a lot of time, I intend to use every second of it showing you how much I love you. Even if you never forgive me.”

Magnus smiled sadly, but sweetly. “We will have to consummate this complete. Soon.” 

Alec choked, eyes wide. “What?!”

Magnus chuckled, eyes falling shut as he slumped further against Alec. “Consummate, Alexander. It isn’t just for a singular complete, it goes for dual complete as well. It is how every form of the complete is finalized. We have to bond as a whole in order for our Complete Bond to settle.”

Alec nodded frantically, throat dry. “I uh, well… Ahem.” Licking his lips, Alec tightened his arms around the warlock, chin resting on his head. “Are you, uh, okay with this?”

Magnus smiled, eyes still shut as he turned to press his nose into the crook of Alec’s arm. “I assure you darling, sordid history or no, consummation with you is _never_ an issue.”

Alec giggled, a high pitched, nervous sound. “I am still so, so sorry Mags. I hate that this has been taken out of your hands.”

Twisting, Magnus pushed himself up on his knees, arms coming up to loop around Alec’s neck. “Oh darling, I know you didn’t mean for things to happen this way. This entire situation is right out of a terrible daytime soap opera.”

With a shake of his head, Magnus chuckled. “Honestly, this will be a bigger change for you than for me. This rite will impact every aspect of your life.”

With a sigh, Magnus shuffled closer. “My magic is now your magic, our magic. Your life will be extended, we will live for as long as the other lives. After we consummate, some of your physicality will change, much like mine did after the Tomb.”

Alec shook his head, fingers scraping against the skin exposed between Magnus’ shirt and pants. “That is alright. I expected something of the like. I know it will take me time to come to terms with an extended life, outliving my siblings and their children. However, if my life, this life, means more time with you… I will take a thousand lifetimes at your side.”

Sliding his hand away from the tantalizing skin on Magnus’ back, Alec slid a hand around and up to tilt the warlock’s chin up so he could press their lips together softly. “I never want to be without you Magnus. A day or a million years, I want to be here, at your side.”

Magnus sunk into Alec, body relaxing. “I love you Alexander Lightwood.”

Rubbing their noses together, Alec smiled when Magnus laughed. “I love you as well, Magnus Bane.”

Wiggling forward, Magnus climbed up onto Alec’s lap, arms tightening around his neck. It was a shift of his hips that had Alec gasping and Magnus leaning down to press their lips together. Fire erupted between them, Alec’s hands found that bare spot on Magnus’ back again, fingers seeking under the shirt. 

Magnus rolled his hips, hands snaking up to tug at Alec’s hair. He didn’t know who started it but soon their tongues were pushing obscenely into each others mouths. Alec groaned, hands pushing Magnus’ shirt up and off. Magnus was moaning, pulling back to let his head fall back. Alec’s lips latched onto the warlock’s neck, hips rolling up against the shorter mans. Their erections ground together, both men gasping. 

“Magnus, _angel_ Magnus!” Alec pushed up, flipped Magnus onto his back and spread himself out over the shorter man. Chanting Magnus’ name, Alec pulled his own shirt off before attacking the laces on the other man’s pants, knuckles dragging against his erection as he did. Magnus was moaning, blue sparks were jumping between them. That heavy curl of magic in his gut was roaring, bursting at the seams with every noise Magnus made. 

“Alexander, please _please_.” Clawed fingers scraping the floor, Magnus lifted his hips as Alec pulled his pants down and off, sparing a smile when the shadowhunter groaned upon noticing his lack of underwear. 

Alec licked his lips, eyes traveling up to admire the man beneath him. “Gods Magnus, you’re so beautiful.” Bending down, Alec pressed a firm kiss against his hips, one at a time, before moving up and kissing against his stomach, tongue smoothing over the marvelous flesh where his belly button wasn’t.

“I could do this forever.” Shucking his pants, Alec slid up the other man’s body, moaning when their cocks brushed. Kissing his cheeks, his nose, chin, ears and lips, Alec whispered reverent words against the warlocks skin. “My beautiful Magnus.” Pressing their lips together, Alec smiled when Magnus smiled. “My beautiful, wonderful Magnus. I want to make love to you. I want to make love to you every second, every minute, every day, for the rest of eternity. “ 

Alec watched as Magnus’ smile softened, eyes wet with tears. “Alexander.” He breathed the name like a soft prayer, hands smoothing up the taller man’s sides, sharp claws scratching gooseflesh along Alec’s chest and hips. 

Alec licked at his fingers, smiling as Magnus groaned. Snaking a hand down, he pushed Magnus’ leg up so he could press a saliva slick finger against his opening. Magnus gasped as Alec pushed in, hips rolling down against his fingers. “Alexander!”

Pressing another finger inside of him, Alec moaned as Magnus licked his way into his mouth, claws scraping down his back, blue sparks falling around them like electric fireworks. Curling his fingers, Alec swallowed Magnus’ scream when he found the man’s prostate. 

“Alexander, please! _Pleasepleaseplease_.”

Pulling his fingers away, Alec reached down to pull Magnus’ other knee up, shifting his own knees forward to slide under the shorter man’s hips. With a tremendous tug, he lifted Magnus so he was shitting on Alec’s folded knees. “I love you Mags.”

Lifting Magnus up, Alec pressed their lips together as he guided himself into Magnus’ warm, tight body. They both gasped, and the magic inside of him exploded into life. They hummed with electricity and light, Alec felt lit from the inside. Magnus sunk his newly sharpened teeth into Alec’s neck, tongue soothing the wound. Alec shifted, groaning, he lifted Magnus up and brought him back down, nearly sobbing as he sunk deeper into him. 

Magnus moaned deeply, fingers curling against Alec’s scalp as he rolled his hips down. Alec gasped, thrusting up against his lover. They moved like dancers, bodies rolling together sinfully. They were both sweating, the magic around them flashed and thrummed with energy. Alec felt a thousand years old and brand new all at once, his body moved against Magnus’, magic shocked through them, he’d never felt more alive. 

“Magnus, gods Magnus. I love you. I, ahh” Moaning, Alec tipped them over again, slamming Magnus against the floor. The warlock locked his legs around Alec’s hips as he began to thrust in earnest, driving his cock against Magnus’ prostate. “I love you.”

Magnus was wrecked beneath him, his eyes were glowing, the magic in them continued to spark and fall. He jerked his hips against Alec’s thrusts, trying to keep up as they both got swept up in the overwhelming intensity of their coupling. Alec snaked a hand down between their bodies, fingers wrapping around Magnus’ cock where he began jerking in time with his thrusts. “Oh gods, oh gods cum for me Magnus. Please _please_ cum for me.”

Magnus moaned, curling his body up to match Alec’s ministrations. “Yesyesyes. Alexander!” Magnus’ pleading gave way to incoherent moaning, body jerking against Alec desperately. 

Alec was lost, the magic falling around them began sparking, igniting into hundreds of magical fires that lifted up around them, lighting the room in an otherworldly glow. Reaching up, Alec wrapped his hand around the back of Magnus’ neck, pulling the warlock close so he could push their foreheads together again. “I love you Magnus.”

Magnus kissed him, sweetly, briefly. “I love you.” 

With a gasp, Magnus came, body going rigid and tight in a way that made Alec’s mouth go dry. He jerked his hips and came. Collapsing on top of his lover, Alec let out a breathless laugh, grinning brightly when Magnus started chuckling as well. All around them magic fires continued to flicker, blue light making Magnus’ eyes glisten. 

Leaning up, Magnus kissed him earnestly, hands stroking softly up Alec’s ribs. “Can you feel it?”

Closing his eyes, Alec smiled through the tears he felt sliding down his face, laughing as Magnus kissed them away. “It’s incredible. I can feel you here.” Alec pressed his hand against his chest above his heart, a giddy smile nearly splitting his face in half. 

“Angel, Magnus, it feels like my heart is pumping pure electric! Is this how you feel all the time?”

Magnus laughed, hand reaching up to rest on top of Alec’s over his heart. “Almost darling.”

Alec pressed giddy kisses all over Magnus’ face, laughing between each one. “That was amazing, you’re amazing!”

With a breathless, amazed laugh, Alec settled down against Magnus, chests pressed together. Reaching up, Alec brushed against Magnus’ cheeks, eyes, across the bridge of his nose before running the pads of his fingers lovingly over his lips. “I love you. I’ll never hurt you again. I’ll never hurt _us_ again. I’m so sorry I ever hurt you. You’re so amazing. So kind. So loving. I’m going to tell you that every day for the rest of our lives.”

Leaning down, Alec pressed their lips together, swallowing Magnus’ response. They moved together, Alec’s soft cock still buried deep inside of Magnus, their sweat and cum cooling on their hips and on the floor. Alec didn’t think he would ever find a more perfect moment for the rest of his newly immortal life. Magnus was fire, and passion. He was what lit Alec from the inside. 

Wiggling slightly, Alec pulled back to kiss the tip of Magnus’ nose, smiling when the warlock laughed. “You are my light. My world.”

Magnus smiled sweetly, bringing his hands up to stroke his cheeks. “I love you Alexander. I think… I think I can forgive you, in time.”

Alec smiled, all around him the magical fires flared to life again, flooding the room with vibrant light. “You are beautiful Alexander, we will have many lifetimes of experiences and adventures together. I want to forgive you. I want… us.”

“Me too.”

Smiling brightly, Magnus waved his hand, smile growing when Alec laughed as fireworks launched into the room, showering them with glitter and stars. 

“So… we are bonded? Officially?”

Laughing, Magnus pressed their foreheads together. “Yes darling. That thrumming in your veins is our bond. That heat in your heart, that’s us too. These fires? The sparks? All us darling.”

Giddiness swept Alec into wrapping Magnus into a tight bear hug, he rolled them over so they laid side by side, hips bending so he stayed buried deeply in the warlock. “I love you Magnus Bane.”

Smiling, Magnus settled in Alec’s arms, warmth flooding him. “I love you Alexander Lightwood.”


End file.
